Pivotal Moment
How a Pivotal Moment Can Redefine What’s Meaningful
Today, as I was about to write this newsletter, my friends in Los Angeles had to evacuate their home due to the firestorm raging through their Pacific Palisades neighborhood. I pray that their home survives and am glad that they are safe.
There comes a time in every life when the course changes—not because of circumstance alone, but because of a heightened sense of what truly matters. It’s rarely convenient, often uncomfortable, and almost always transformative.
For me, that pivotal moment came six months after our son Spencer was born. He had jackknife seizures. My wife immediately recognized this was not normal. We rushed to our doctor who looked up the seizure in his medical book and told us to go to the Children’s Hospital.
Our perfect birth and start to life with a child had gone off script. We plunged into reading and researching, hoping to find a diagnosis and a cure that would get us back on track. That diagnosis came 18 years later. The cure was reactive and not conclusive and we did the best we could with the information we had.
It was a reckoning that redefined meaningful. We didn’t have a choice. We realized that our life would take us on a journey into a world of unknowns, uncertainties, and never-ending trials and tribulations that had no playbook. Like the fire that descended on our friend's neighborhood, our pivotal moment was unscripted and profound.
Pivotal moments demand that we confront ourselves, our values, and the life we want to create. They’re more than decisions—they’re declarations of purpose and force us to reconcile with what's truly meaningful.
Here’s the question: What moment in your life has heightened your sense of meaning, and how did it shape your path forward?
NOW: Realization and Reflection for Today
As I reflect on that moment of change, I remember the mix of fear and clarity. Leaving a world of predictability for one of uncertainty was no longer just about professional growth; it was about alignment with our views of the life we had intended to live.
I realized that living someone else’s idea of success wasn’t available. I wanted my life to reflect my own sense of purpose—creating, connecting, and helping others shape their stories and make meaning of their pivotal moments.
Pivotal moments often start with discomfort—a nagging feeling that what you’re doing no longer fits or a jarring feeling that everything you know is no longer valid. Discomfort is a signal, not a setback. It’s the universe asking: What truly matters to you?
Take a moment to reflect:
Is there a part of your life where meaning feels out of sync with your actions?
What would it look like to realign with what you find meaningful?
Will it take a life-jarring pivotal moment to force you to change?
The Now is your opportunity to tune in, to notice where your values are calling you to pivot.
NEW: Learning and Experimentation for Tomorrow
Pivotal moments don’t always arrive with fanfare. Sometimes, they’re small shifts that require exploration before they become life-changing. Sometimes they are life-jarring and you are forced to act.
Here are three ways to experiment with meaning and to get in front of your next pivotal moment:
Revisit Your “Why”
Ask yourself why you do what you do. Strip away external expectations and focus on what resonates deeply with you. This exercise can reveal hidden tensions or opportunities for change.
Say Yes to the Unknown
Meaning often lies on the other side of uncertainty. Commit to one new opportunity, challenge, or experience this week that feels outside your comfort zone.
Seek Moments of Stillness
In the rush of daily life, meaning often gets drowned out by noise. Create space—whether through journaling, meditation or simply sitting with your thoughts—to listen for the quiet voice of purpose.
Ask yourself:
What small action can you take tomorrow to realign with what feels meaningful?
How can you experiment with stepping closer to your purpose, even in small ways?
How will you respond if you are faced with a life-jarring pivotal moment?
NEXT: Vision for Future Possibilities
Pivotal moments are not just about what we leave behind—they’re about what we move toward. When we embrace a heightened sense of meaning, we unlock the ability to envision a future that feels deeply aligned with who we are and who we want to become.
Imagine a life where your choices consistently reflect your values. The work you do, the relationships you nurture, and the risks you take are all grounded in what you find most meaningful.
This is the power of a pivotal moment: it’s not just a course correction—it’s a chance to redefine the entire journey. When you are dealt the cards you have, how will you make the best of them? Or will you seek to get a new set of cards?
Ask yourself:
What would your life look like if it were guided entirely by what you find meaningful versus living the status quo?
How can you take ownership of the next chapter, starting today?
Payoff: Finding Meaning in the Pivotal Moment
A pivotal moment isn’t just a fork in the road—it’s a chance to rewrite your story. For me, acknowledging that our priority was to help our son optimize his life through whatever means it took. He didn’t have a roadmap. The doctors, therapists, educators, and advocates didn’t have a roadmap.
We faced many obstacles and hidden rules that weren’t always visible. Together we designed a path of trial and error and found his brilliance. We have spent a lifetime nurturing this pivotal moment into a life that has taken us down roads we would have never known. The roads less traveled.
In the Now, you can reflect on what feels meaningful and what doesn’t.
In the New, you can experiment with choices that bring you closer to your purpose and allow you to feel your way forward.
In the Next, you can create a future where every chapter of your story feels intentional and deeply fulfilling, driven by the impact of a pivotal moment.
What’s your pivotal moment? How did it change your course? And how will it guide the path you’re scripting?
The answers lie in your story. Own it. Live it. Let it guide you toward a life that feels not just successful, but significant.
"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot
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Make 2025 the year you optimize your story. If it is because of a pivotal moment, book a free consultation with me, and let's consider the possibilities.
I am a Narratologist and my craft is to help others find and design their unique form of self-expression. For companies, it is about alignment around a Narrative Northstar and the mission to achieve it. For executives over 45, it is about owning your personal narrative and helping you to own it. For movements, it is about building belief in what you seek to change.
What a timely message, Tobin, particularly as so many of us desire to help those impacted by the wildfires envision how to move forward. I'm absorbing your message as a way to hold them up.
I've heard the phrase defining moment, but not pivotal moment. Love how you define that.
"There comes a time in every life when the course changes—not because of circumstance alone, but because of a heightened sense of what truly matters. It’s rarely convenient, often uncomfortable, and almost always transformative."
TY for sharing your story and I hope your son is doing well these days.
As Yogi Berra said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it!”